Times in BST + 1 CET

Match results
EPL

2 - Manolo Gabbiadini has scored more goals in this game (2) than he had in his previous 15 @premierleague appearances (1). Renaissance. pic.twitter.com/5DKx8ecGtS
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) October 15, 2017
Yeah, he's been quiet, no?
Score!
1 - Newcastle have scored an away goal in the 1st half of a PL match for the first time since Nov 2015 at C Palace; 687 days ago. Rare. pic.twitter.com/Z4ocJ0qHHF
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) October 15, 2017
18% - Ronald Koeman's win % in away league games with Everton is just 18% (P22 W4), compared to 37% with Southampton (P38 W14). Sickness. pic.twitter.com/5Dipg4dUhJ
— OptaJoe (@OptaJoe) October 15, 2017
Soton fans must be Lol'ing. After how he left that club, and then flashing his tits at Barcelona when he was just getting his foot under the desk at Everton. Well.
serie A

Mauro Icardi is the first player to score a hat-trick in the Milan derby in #SerieA since Diego Milito for @Inter on 6 May 2012 #InterMilan
— Gracenote Live (@GracenoteLive) October 15, 2017
Nice
#InterMilan 3:2 highlights 😂#Icardi ⚽️⚽️⚽️ pic.twitter.com/EUUJ7YFkFL
— Enjoy Inter News (@EnjoyInterNews) October 15, 2017
This is great. Icardi got a hattrick
Top mister #Spalletti#InterMilan pic.twitter.com/C81FBIvtYQ
— Roberto Fiorellino (@FioRoberto) October 15, 2017
Me when everything goes right
GOOOOOAAAAAAAALLLLL!!! WHAT A GOAL BY MAURO ICARDI!!! 2-1 #InterMilanpic.twitter.com/hguslHdZ5n
— Lega Serie A (@SerieAchannel) October 15, 2017
That goal
La Liga

397 - El @CDLeganes suma 397 minutos sin encajar un gol en @LaLiga, la racha vigente más larga de cualquier equipo. Granito. pic.twitter.com/1sxP8XIJlK
— OptaJose (@OptaJose) October 15, 2017
Come on!
6 - Valencia have scored six goals in a La Liga away game for the 4th time, the first one since 2004 vs Malaga (6-1). Falles. pic.twitter.com/pt0KI6bXOa
— OptaJose (@OptaJose) October 15, 2017
Those kits are pretty garish, no?
Bundesliga

💬 "We're a bit frustrated"@lucasalario13 talks about missed opportunities after @bayer04_en were held by @VfLWolfsburg_EN earlier. #B04WOB pic.twitter.com/RWgfUWhQ3B
— Bundesliga English (@Bundesliga_EN) October 15, 2017
Hmm. How was the game? I had to be away from my computer yesterday
Another week of #Bundesliga football comes to an end 🙁
— Bundesliga English (@Bundesliga_EN) October 15, 2017
To keep you going until matchday 9, here's a table 👍
Goodnight, everybody! 😴 pic.twitter.com/35HBk87QSg
Hmmm. Tasty
Denis Zakaria's Phil Jones face is better than Phil Jones' 😁#fohlenelf #SVWBMG 0-2 pic.twitter.com/iJzpOCEGWX
— Gladbach (@borussia_en) October 15, 2017
LOL
News in tweets
[EXCLU TELEFOOT]
— Téléfoot (@telefoot_TF1) October 15, 2017
José Mourinho : "Je ne finirai pas à Manchester" pic.twitter.com/F2O9nRisuA
Supposedly he's interested in the PSG job. I was charmed by him asking if he was conjugating a French word correctly, tbh.
OP: Done. Cheers, jeers and the rest of it, you know the drill