news round up: ontd_football

Chatter from the sidelines

Newcastle dismissed players over the phone

Juventus can upset the odds and beat Barcelona in Champions League final, says Dutch legend Marco van Basten They're hyping up the CL already? I'm still getting my head around FIFA and FBI, you get me?

Italian boy wakes from month-long coma, asks if Juventus are still in the Champions League priorities though

Jurgen Klopp rules out summer move to Liverpool as former Borussia Dortmund boss confirms he's taking a break I get it. Klopp is someone that seems all in, so yeah, I can see how a sabbatical will refresh his batteries. He might stumble upon a new playstyle too, so you never know. One more year of Rodgers though- to say that half the supporters are disaffected is an understatement

Christian Benteke's agent says striker will do all he can to leave Aston Villa during prank call with fan pretending to be a Premier League boss Oh noooo

Uefa plots to break away from Fifa and host a rival tournament Platini isn't the man to lead the charge tbh

Gianluigi Buffon: I hope this weekend Lionel Messi is from earth, like us LOL we'll see

See @_ChrisBascombe & @pjoyceexpress also expecting Liverpool to confirm Milner signing by the end of the week - which means it will happen. If the rumoured amount of what we're paying him is true, it's far too much!

Fifa scandal: Jérôme Valcke described as sender of $10m to Jack Warner FBI is getting closer

Bribery Inquiry Drawing Closer to FIFA’s President, Sepp Blatter *insert dramatic music here*

Ojito después del comunicado de Benítez lo mismo tenemos en breve el de David de Gea. DeGea's signing to be announced soon after Benitez announcement. Real Madrid always get what they want in the end. Here's hoping Casillas does the honourable thing.

Chelsea transfers: Diego Costa ''desperate to return'' to Atletico Madrid, claim Spanish reports Hates the weather, food, and language, wants to return to Atletico. Mourinho doesn't him to go, and Atletico Madrid can't afford his new wages. Dramah

Swansea defender Neil Taylor ends transfer speculation by signing new four-year deal
yay for Swans

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Pictures

Xabi Alonso- his pictures are on my TIL and people are fapping themselves to exhaustion

Other pictures of the Alonso clan

Alex Gerrard is living the dream. She just eats well, exercises and shows off her efforts in expensive bikinis. Hopefully with LA exposure, she'll get rid of the Scouse brows, and go easy on the botox

Pele is in Cuba for NY Cosmos match. Go and visit Cuba before the Americans change it

Rooney with his family

Hamburg stayed up!

OP:done! Any cheers, jeers, corrections or commentary pushback- you know the drill!

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