Arsène's zipper 496, Arsène 0.
This man is a trained economist. This man has been a top-flight manager for 27 years. This man is a grown ass adult.
This man still cannot zip up his coat.
Puma swore it made a coat even he could zip. Wenger even said he could zip it up. But you can't fight the laws of Earth, and the 8th Law of Earth is that Arsène Wenger can't zip up his coat.
Words are SB Nation's, not mine.