Jenny Jenkins (jenny_jenkins) wrote in ontd_football,
Jenny Jenkins
jenny_jenkins
ontd_football

The Preliminary Germany Squad. Pictures & Profiles From Zeit.de: Fully Translated!

The Preliminary Germany Squad. Pictures & Profiles From Zeit.de: Fully Translated!
There have been some very nice picture-posts of various national team call-ups. Here is a compilation (with individual, slightly tongue-in-cheek mini-biographies) of all the players in Germany's squad.

This list, and the mini-biographies are from Zeit.de's feature article and photograph gallery, and has been fully translated by jenny_jenkins and sashatwen



Coach


Joachim Löw





Average age of his squad: 24 years.
Number in the training camp: 27
Final decision on the 29th of May: 1 goal-keeper and 3 outfielders will be sent home from this list.






Goalkeepers (Tor)


Manuel Neuer






Position: Tor

Verein: FC Bayern München

Geboren: 27. März 1986

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 25

Why is he in the squad? Because even the Bayern Ultras are now thrilled he has arrived (albeit secretly!). Has yet to score a national team goal, but has shined as an assistant!

What can we expect from him? Strong Performances. Loooooong throws and extremely accurate distribution.



Tim Wiese




Position: Tor

Verein: Until now Werder Bremen, after the Euros: Hoffenheim

Geboren: 17. Dezember 1981

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 5

Why is he in the squad? Because he has nice hair and is a gentle sort. And because he has the confidence to spend his free time in the St George equestrian club climbing up on horses. At any rate: self confidence. The life's theme of Tim Wiese. We wouldn't put it past the old rogue to sell us an H(offenheim) for an M(adrid).

What can we expect from him? Loyalty and commitment at all times. If he needs to go on during a semi-final against Italy, he'll be ready.

Marc-André ter Stegen



A mini-Kahn!


Position: Tor

Verein: Borussia Mönchengladbach

Geboren: 30. April 1992

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 25

Why is he on the squad? Because he's a really good keeper and not just "for his age". And because he's also such a good footballer that he is in the top 20 for touches on the ball in the Bundesliga statistical count.

What can we expect from him? No bitching on the bench. The most important thing, in other words, that a third goal-keeper can bring along.

Ron-Robert Zieler



Position: Tor

Verein: Hannover 96

Geboren: 12. Februar 1989

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 1

Why is he in the squad? Quiet charisma and some international experience with Hannover.

What can we expect from him? That he'll defend his role as third goal-keeper from ter Stegen.



The Defence (Abwehr)


Holger Badstuber





Position: Abwehr

Verein: FC Bayern München

Geboren: 13. März 1989

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 18

Why is he in the squad? Because at 23 he directed the defence in a Champions League semi-final. Because he exudes calm and rusticism. And because he can hit very precise diagonal passes: in Bayern's youth team he played as a number 6 and learned a great deal. The coach who made all this possible: Hermann Gerland, an old friend of Badstuber's father.

What can we expect from him? That he'll do the same as he does with Bayern: which is pretty much required.


Jérôme Boateng




Position: Abwehr

Verein: FC Bayern München

Geboren: 3. September 1988

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 19

Why is he in the squad? Because he's fast and is good in one-on-one situations. Aside from that he can play left or right. Löw can also rely on him, if he moves Lahm from left to right, to cause a domino effect in the defence.

What can we expect from him? That his tendency to nod off during games, which we've seen recently with his club, will be under control.



Benedikt Höwedes





Position: Abwehr

Verein: FC Schalke 04

Geboren: 29. Februar 1988

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 7

Why is he in the squad? Because he makes defensive variations possible. And because he's an even better central defender. And because he tosses himself into head-to-head triple-facial-fracture duels for the ball the way a child throws himself into a lake.

What can we expect from him? If Lahm plays on the left, he could cement the right - even against Ronaldo. He might even score a header!



Mats Hummels




Position: Abwehr

Verein: Borussia Dortmund

Geboren: 16. Dezember 1988

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 12

Why is he in the squad? Because he takes responsibility and can inject the national team with the Dortmund virus: good positioning, switching of positions, scoring up front and ending up on top when it's all over. He will fight for his starting place with Per Mertesacker.

What can we expect from him? Shallower and shorter passing than with Dortmund. Good reading of the game.



Per Mertesacker


Position: Abwehr

Verein: FC Arsenal

Geboren: 29. September 1984

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2006, EM 2008, WM 2010

Länderspiele: 79

Why is he in the squad? Because he's fit at the right time. And because he doesn't only play well, but effectively. 196 cm of body-height are their own good argument!

What can we expect from him? That he'll win nearly every header. And a lack of wear and tear: in South Africa he played every single minute of every single game.



Philipp Lahm



Position: Abwehr

Verein: FC Bayern München

Geboren: 11. November 1983

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: EM 2004, WM 2006, EM 2008, WM 2010

Länderspiele: 85

Why is he in the squad? He's the captain and carries the arm-band (officially at least). Remains one of the most technically gifted defenders of Europe. Besides: Costa Rica in 2006!

What can we expect from him? Perfect touch and an assist like the one against Real Madrid in the first leg of the Champions League. And that he'll allow Bastian Schweinsteiger to take the lead in the penalty shoot-out.



Marcel Schmelzer


Position: Abwehr

Verein: Borussia Dortmund

Geboren: 22. Januar 1988

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 5

Why is he in the squad? Because he's already, in his youth, been German champion twice and because he's as fast when he defends as he is pushing forward. Also: Germany doesn't have many good full-backs.

What can we expect from him? What we can expect from all of the Dortmunders in the squad: he has the qualities to become a tournament surprise.



The Midfield (Mittelfeld)


Ilkay Gündogan


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: Borussia Dortmund

Geboren: 24. Oktober 1990

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 1

Why is he in the squad? Because he was the best Dortmunder of the latter part of the season and they became League Champions of Germany.

What can we expect from him? Vertical passing that will slice through every defence like a newly sharpened knife through a steak. Add to that a formidable positional sense and work ethic.




Julian Draxler


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: FC Schalke 04

Geboren: 20. September 1993 (Fuck me! Two years past Unification!!!)

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 0

Why is he in the squad? Because he's very young and the team want him to get used to being in the squad so he's ready for 2014, 2018, and 2022.

What can we expect from him? That he'll spend his time until the 29th of May wandering through the team hotel with big eyes and glowing cheeks.



Sven Bender


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: Borussia Dortmund

Geboren: 27. April 1989

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 1

Why is he in the squad? Because he runs and runs and runs and runs ...

What can we expect from him? That he'll suddenly show up where others are missing.



Lars Bender


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: Bayer Leverkusen

Geboren: 27. April 1989

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 4

Why is he in the squad? Because the idea of having the first German twins make it into a tournament together is just too beautiful!

What can we expect from him? That he'll run and run and run and run ...



Marco Reus


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: Borussia Mönchengladbach

Geboren: 31. Mai 1989

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 3

Why is he in the squad? Because his wobbling run throws entire defences off balance - and even upsets the substitute players who are warming up behind the goal, to boot!

What can we expect from him? Rapid and precise dribbling, considered shots at goal. Good impact sub (Jokerqualitäten). We also expect that half of Europe will be imitating his hair-style by the middle of autumn at the latest.



Sami Khedira


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: Real Madrid

Geboren: 4. April 1987

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 24

Why is he in the squad? Because he stole the Spanish Championship from Barcelona with a goal in the Camp Nou.

What can we expect from him? That he will do as he's told - as he does in Madrid, where he is Mourinho's star-pupil - and you can tell him to do a great deal too. He can nonchalantly clean up ahead of the defence or power forward. He can also be the poster-boy.



Toni Kroos


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: FC Bayern München

Geboren: 4. Januar 1990

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 24

Why is he in the squad? Because he is a true strategist.

What can we expect from him? That his misplaced passes will be counted on one hand throughout the whole of the tournament. Toni Kroos is something like a German Xavi - if somewhat more of a threat in front of goal. He dictates the game through his passing. If only he would loosen up a little...



Mario Götze


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: Borussia Dortmund

Geboren: 3. Juni 1992

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 12

Why is he in the squad? Because he's the best dribbler in the country, and - untypically of dribblers - sometimes shoots and scores. A midfield with him, Özil, Müller, Kroos...

What can we expect from him? Movement as smooth as a kitten and the most photogenic boy-band smile.




André Schürrle


Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: Bayer Leverkusen

Geboren: 6. November 1990

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: keins

Länderspiele: 11

Why is he in the squad? Because Löw knows why it isn't working out for him at his club and because he has a nearly supernatural power over his players. "I know his qualities. One or two tactical corrections and he'll be back!"

What can we expect from him? Speed. Goals scored shortly after substitution (Jokertore).



Bastian Schweinsteiger





Position: Zentrales Mittelfeld

Verein: FC Bayern München

Geboren: 1. August 1984

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: EM 2004, WM 2006, EM 2008, WM 2010

Länderspiele: 90

Why is he in the team? Because he's the spiritual captain - just as he is at Bayern.

What can we expect from him? Fire, steam, speed. Schweinsteiger only loses one-on-ones when he's just finished tying his shoelaces. In spite of injury he controlled a solid midfield against Madrid as though he'd never been gone.



Mesut Özil


Position: Offensives Mittelfeld

Verein: Real Madrid

Geboren: 15. Oktober 1988

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 30

Why is he in the squad? Because he's become a world-star at Real Madrid.

What can we expect from him? Oh, that Özil. A player of such grace and loveliness that when you watch him play you want to start producing babies, just so you can explain him to them. Schweinsteiger is the heart of the team. Özil is the brain. Could be the tournament's super-star.

Thomas Müller




Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: FC Bayern München

Geboren: 13. September 1989

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 25

Why is he in the squad? Because you can't leave the guy who scored the most goals in the last World Cup at home. And because no one sends nicer greetings to his grandmother.

What can we expect from him? That he'll find his pace immediately. In the games against Madrid he was the twelfth Bayern player. Since Robben and Ribéry don't have German passports however, he is Joachim Löw's preferred choice. There's not much more to say except: "If we'd had him in the semi-final against Spain..."



Lukas Podolski




Position: Mittelfeld

Verein: FC Köln, nach der EM: FC Arsenal

Geboren: 4. Juni 1985

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: EM 2004, WM 2006, EM 2008, WM 2010

Länderspiele: 95

Why in the squad? Because in his national team dress he can forget about life's disappointments. There's no team to rescue from relegation, he isn't a mascot - he can simply do what he does best: play, run, pass, score.

What can we expect from him? Goals. When Podolski has the ball on his left foot it sends a shiver down the spine of every goal-kepper in the world. He will bring a high level of motivation. Like Klose he was born in Poland, where he is adored. He'd like to show all of Europe what he can bring to European competition. (translator's note: Podolski has just completed a transfer to Arsenal FC)



The Attack (Abgriff)


Cacau


Position: Angriff

Verein: VfB Stuttgart

Geboren: 27. März 1981

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2010

Länderspiele: 21

Why is he in the squad? Good question.

What can we expect from him? That he'll injure himself when he comes in. If he comes in. (translator's gripe: how about late goals and a good attitude, assholes?)

Mario Gomez





Position: Angriff

Verein: FC Bayern München

Geboren: 10. Juli 1985

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: EM 2008, WM 2010

Länderspiele: 50

Why is he in the squad? Because he scores in the Champions League, and because he allowed Huntelaar to overtake him in the Bundesliga just so that Schalke could have a title.

Was kann man von ihm erwarten? Euros and Gomez, uiuiui. Four years ago he stumbled in Vienna in front of an epic chance - something that has followed him since. But that was then. In the meantime he's a phenomenon. Either he finds the back of the net two or three times a match or spends 90 minutes with the ball bouncing off his shins. Löw knows this. So does Miroslav Klose.



Miroslav Klose


Position: Angriff

Verein: Lazio Rom

Geboren: 9. Juni 1978

Bisherige Nationalmannschaftsturniere: WM 2002, EM 2004, WM 2006, EM 2008, WM 2010

Länderspiele: 113

Why is he in the squad? Joke question, yes?

What can we expect from him? Goals and sommersaults. Latterly the Italian Serie A has surrendered to him and his national team record is now legendary: he requires less than two games per goal. There is now a difficult competition for places for him in Löws one-striker system: Mario Gomez.



Tags: bastian schweinsteiger, bavarian schwein flu, benedikt höwedes, euro 2012, gqmf, internationals, joachim löw, lukas podolski, manuel neuer, mats hummels, mesut o.ozil, miroslav klose, mourinho's cold-blooded enforcers, nt: germany, per mertesacker, philipp lahm, picspam, sami khedira, schweini flu, sexy older man alert, thomas müller
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