Emma (crouchea) wrote in ontd_football,
Emma
crouchea
ontd_football

Premier League End of Season Review 2010-2011: Part I.

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bought to you by the inglourious bungsterd

hai bungs! I counted up the votes for the End-of-season-review thingymajig thing that you guys voted in, and here are results for half of 'em! MATCH, UNDERRATED PLAYER, FLOP, SHOCK, GRIPE & CHARACTER of the season so here they are! I did Gold, Silver, Bronze, as well as 4th and fifth place. I need to train to get a life trolololo but at least it looks pretty!


THE MORE ENTERTAINING THAN A SEASON FINALE OF DESPERATE HOUSEWIVES AWARD FOR MATCH OF THE SEASON

BLACKPOOL 2 
MANCHESTER UNITED 3
CHELSEA 2
MANCHESTER CITY 0
LIVERPOOL 3
MANCHESTER UNITED 1
 
NEWCASTLE 4
ARSENAL 4
TOTTENHAM 3
ARSENAL 3
With just 18 minutes left to go in this match, Blackpool were 2-0 up and dreaming. Could they?? Sadly for them, they could not, as Manchester United staged a comeback and won all three points. Replays later showed that at 2-0, Blackpool were owed a penalty, which would have changed things massively, but the fact that United edged their way back into the game shows that in a season where the overall quality of football was not the greatest, they were probably the best -- of a bad, bad bunch. Hailed as the derby of the Sugar Daddies, this match fell on the day of Fernando Torres' 27th birthday, and he'd not been scoring for almost two months and things were getting a little embarassing. Chelsea gaffer Carlo Ancelotti took a huge chance in starting him with Kalou, but in fact it was the other January signing, David Luiz, who hit the net for Chelsea. Chelsea played with verve and swagger and earned a thoroughly deserved win that would kickstart their acendency to second, and were utterly unphased by the negative tactics Mancini employed. In the words of Kevin McCarra, Chelsea simply shone more than their dull guests -- and David Luiz shone the brightestLiverpool breathed new life into the title race -- as well as themselves in a thumping win over their arch-nemises in a thoroughly entertaining match at Anfield. There was a Dirk Kuyt hat-trick, a stream of defensive errors (including a Nani "assist"), not to mention more friction than a whole wad of sandpaper. The game was at boiling point when Carragher fouled Nani, and Rafael, seeking retribution, went in studs up on Lucas. And they say players don't care about rivalries...When we look back at this altogether mediocre season ten years from now, it'll be remembered for  February 5th - the day Arsenal made history by throwing away a 4-goal lead. The Gunners were in wonderland after 10 minutes, being three nil up, but their world came crashing down in the second half. Diaby got sent off, Arsenal conceded two penalties, which, to add insult to injury, were dispatched coolly by Joey Barton, a man who himself was lucky to be on the pitch. Then, in injury time, Chiek Tiote slammed in a thunderbolt to break Arsenal hearts. In his post-match interview, Wenger look like he'd aged about 12 years through the match. Football, eh? Bloody hell.North London derbies are never not feisty affairs, but this was match both teams had to win - Arsenal, in their pursuit of the title, and Spurs in their chase for fourth spot, and from the attacking teams put out by Wenger and Redknapp, the managers were fully aware of it. Arsenal took the lead almost immediately through a wonderfully worked Walcott goal, but Spurs, not even pausing to breathe, equalised almost immediately. Arsenal went on to score two more, but, being Arsenal, couldn't hold onto the 3-1 lead, and Spurs clawed their way back in. It was a result neither team wanted, but the neutrals relished.  
 

Finalists: BLACKPOOL 4- BOLTON 3 showed why the Seasiders will be sorely missed - there was never a dull moment when they were around| In EVERTON 3 - MANCHESTER UNITED 3, United were leading 3-1 at 90 minutes, but some Fergie time in reverse had them having a taste of their own medicine for once through two late, great, Everton goals | West Ham were relegated as a result of WIGAN 3 - WEST HAM 2, a fate the more painful as they were 2-0 up at half time
Semi-Finalists: EVERTON 5  - BLACKPOOL 3 & SUNDERLAND 2 - CHELSEA 4





THE NADINE COYLE AWARD FOR MOST UNDERRATED PLAYER

CHARLIE ADAM
Blackpool
PARK JI-SUNG
Manchester United
 
SALOMON KALOU
Chelsea
 
MARTIN KELLY
Liverpool
DAVID SILVER SILVA
Manchester City
Blackpool's talismanic captain was an asset to them throughout the season. Tireless, hardworking, and never afraid to get his hands (or feet) dirtyThe South Korean is one of the good guys of the game. He always gives 110%, never complains and is a rare unicorn - a footballer who just wants to play footballChelsea's baby-faced Ivorian is ALL IN. He always puts a shift in, whether it be as a starter or a sub. In a season where Torres could not hit a cow's arse with a banjo, Kalou has quietly gone about netting 10 goals in the league
 
The twenty-one year old local lad is fastly establishing himself as a firm fan's favourite. He can play at right or centre back, and his tall stature and fearless demeanor render him a worthy opposition of any attacker who dares run at him
 
In his first season in English football, David Silva has had to make a name for himself at Man City, a team that is at no lack of big names. But Mr Silva just let's his funky football do the talking, talking, and what glorious football that is 
 
 
Finalists: YAYA TOURÉ had been playing defensive mid most of the time for Barcelona, but at CIty, he transformed himself into a bright attacking player, who scored the vital winners in the FA semi and finals | PETER ODEMWINGIE got a hatful of goals for West Brom, against all types of opposition, mice or men | LEIGHTON BAINES, you probably think this song is about you, Leighton Baines, you probably think this song is about you, don't you?
Semi-Finalists: PHIL JAGIELKA & ANDREI ARSHAVIN




THE WE NEED TO COMPLAIN AWARD FOR GRIPE OF THE SEASON

SEXISMAWFUL REFEREEING DECISIONSTOO MUCH GARETH BALE LOVEUEFA STILL LIVING IN THE STONE AGES
 
CORRUPTION 
IN FIFA
On the day of Wolves vs Liverpool, Sky pundits Richard Keys and Andy Gray were digusted to find that there was a female linesman.  In fact, Massey had a terrific game, getting all the borderline calls spot on, but that didn't do anything to appease Gray or Keys. Thinking that their mics were switched off, they voiced their displeasure, revealing that behind those smiling faces of Britain's most well known pundits were two sexist pigs. As the scenario unraveled, more videos of the two men being sexist made themselves known, from Andy Gray asking bawdily asking a female co-worker to tuck his shirt in, to Keys referring to having sex with a woman as "smashing it". The worst thing was, not everyone accepted that the two men were in the wrong. On internet message boards and in life alike, other braying LADS lept to their defence. "They were just telling the truth," one knob said. "Women don't belong in football matches, they belong at home, in the kitchen." Do me a favour, love.It's said that the Sky Top 4 tend to see more of the rub of the green, and it's hard to argue with that; Chelsea picked up only one red card this season, but made more red-worthy tackles than that. Manchester United should have conceded a penalty to Blackpool at 2-0 down and had Vidic sent off against West Ham at 2-0 down. Then, when the Sky top four meet each other, poor refeering decisions are amplified. Chelsea were on the receiving end of two extremely fortituous home matches this year - against Utd and Spurs - that meant their final points tally of 71 & second plce ahead of City was probably undeserved. #trollfaceSpeaking as someone who has always admired Bale (when I was 18 and had a crush on one of my teachers, I used to vent my frustration into slash fics with me as Gareth and my teacher as Robbie trololololo), it's amazing how everyone loving someone can make you go right off them -- even if you were quite a big fan to start with. Gareth Bale had a good season this year, no doubt about it, not least in Europe and those two matches against Inter. But back in the premier league, footballers had his number, as demonstrated by Phil Neville - who, as we all know, is far from being the most complete footballer - having the boy in his pocket all game. Yet even this simple truth was lost on the British Meeja, who's praise for Bale was fantastical, bordering on hyperbolic. This was epitomized by Jamie "We Need to Fanboy" Redknapp, who went round proclaiming inanities like the Welshman "literally had three lungs". Hmmm.Speaking of Jamie, that awkward moment when your cousin scores an illegitimate goal against your dad to get an undeserved equaliser in an important London derby which the fate of both teams is hinging on. Chelsea went on to win the match with another contentious goal, which Kalou scored from an offside position, leaving Spurs fans feeling mighty hard done by. These kind of errors could easily be eliminated with the installation of goalline technology. But for some reason, FIFA doesn't permit it. It's as if they want to allow a margin for dodgy errors. Sepp Blatter will swear to the high heavens that FIFA is not a corrupt organisation, yet. A week before his re-election, an investigation came out to reveal hints of bribery going on. This will surprise nobody, as eyebrows were raised so high into most people's faces that they disappeared into our hair when Qatar was announced as the host for the 2022 World Cup. That FIFA continue to act like they walk on water, setting crappy rules and telling football teams how to conduct their lives, just smacks of the ultimate pot-kettle-black scenario. And it riles.
 
Finalists: RYAN BABEL GETTING FINED FOR HIS TWITTER PICTURE THE PEDANTIC AND FRANKLY INHUMANE RULE OF BOOKING PLAYERS WHEN THEY TAKE A SHIRT OFF CELEBRATING | THE HEARTLESS AND UNCLASSY SACKING OF CARLO ANCELOTTI
Semi-Finalists:
TICKET PRICES IN FOOTBALL THE FIRING OF GOOD MANAGERS




THE END OF THE CRYING GAME AWARD FOR SHOCK OF THE SEASON

LOSING TO BIRMINGHAM IN THE CARLING CUP FINAL
Arsenal
COMING BACK FROM THE DEAD TO MAKE IT 4-4
Newcastle
ENDING MAN UTD'S UNBEATED RUN 
Wolves 

FAILING HIS DRUGS TEST AFTER TAKING HIS WIFE'S DIET PILLS
Kolo Touré

LEAVING THE TEAM WHERE HE WAS ONCE THE PRODIGAL SON TO WEAR THE SHIRT OF A NO HISTORY, GOOD FOR NOTHING, NON-LEGITIMATE, OIL TYCOON'S PLAYTHING WITH PLASTIC SHITTY FLAGS FOR THEIR PLASTIC SHITTY FANS
Chelsea
   
 
Finalists: CHELSEA GETTING THRASHED AT HOME TO SUNDERLAND |   LIVERPOOL'S RESURGENCE UNDER KENNY DALGLISH | CESC'S TWITTER MELTDOWN
Semi-Finalists: CHELSEA'S MID-SEASON SLUMP STOKE CITY IN EUROPE




THE RONALD WEASLEY AWARD FOR LEGENDARY CHARACTER OF THE SEASON

EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM
Blackpool
ALEX FERGUSON
Manchester United
IAN HOLLOWAY
Blackpool

DIRK KUYT
Liverpool

DAVID LUIZ
Chelsea
With Blackpool in the league, you knew you were gonna get your money's worth come Match of the Day. They had that insane 5-3 thriller at Goodison Park, not to mention a thumping 4-3 win over Bolton, and even when they were losing, their fans radiated positivity. "You're not as good as Arsenal", they sang to Chelsea fans as they were being demolished 4-0. Blackpool will sorely be missed.Never one to hold back on what he really thought (remember that Rooney rant?), Ian Holloway was never the model of tact. But what he lacked in diplomacy, he more than made up in rollicklingly good post-match interviews, whether his team won or lost.   Chelsea's dorky King has won hearts from football fans all over with his cute YouTube videos, hilarious post-match interviews and bouncy fluffy hair. Impossible not to love.
 
Finalists: DIDIER DROGBA CESC FÀBREGAS | SZCZESNY
Semi-Finalists: STEVEN GERRARD MICHAEL OWEN




THE QUICK-GET-THAT-BOY-SOME-VIAGRA AWARD FOR FLOP OF THE SEASON

EVERYTHING ABOUT THEM
Arsenal
JOE COLE
Liverpool 
HEURELHO GOMES
Tottenham Hotspur
 
STEPHEN IRELAND
Aston Villa & Newcastle
FERNANDO TORRES
Chelsea
Arsenal fans suffered a lot of despair this season, whether it be in throwing away a 4-goal lead at St James', losing at home to Spurs when they had been 2-0 up, or the manner of their defeats in the Champions League and Carling Cup. At one point, they were in contention for the quadruple. And now? Hell, they couldn't even win this.In his debut, he was sent off. Then, in Europe in mid-week, he missed a penalty. His season was then blighted with injury, and in the rare occasions when he did play, he may as well as not have. Cole revealed that his joining Liverpool was because Gerrard "talked him into it". On this season, Gerrard must have wish he'd kept his mouth shutIt's surprising that Gomes was so shoddy this season, because he had a great season in the 2009-2010. But he went back to his butter-fingered ways this year with a whole stream of errors, from getting sent off against Inter, conceding a very weak goal against Real, to letting the ball slip through his fingers to give  Chelsea an (entirely unlegitimate) goal. I saw pics of him with his bbs at the Spurs lap of honour. I can only hope, for their sake, that daddy Gomes didn't drop them like he dropped the ball so many times this seasonHey Stephen, I know looks can be deceivin', but I know I saw a light in you.  I believe that light is still there, I mean, that 08-09 was glorious for him. But he has seriously fallen from grace, and it's not just a matter of the club he's at; he's underperformed at both Villa and Newcastle. Boy needs to take a look at his life decisions and sort himself out, because I know, that under all that B/S he chats, there is still a talented player... somewhere.Roman Abramovich has made no secret of his admiration for Fernando Torres, and finally, after Torres had done enough trash-talking, Liverpool caved and let the oil man have his vanity buy. Unfortunately, where Abramovich succeeds in laundering money, he fails at picking successful strikers. The Shevchenko comparisons came in thick and fast when Torres was initially misfiring for Chelsea, but that was proper harsh - Sheva scored in his first coupla games for Chels
 
 
Finalists: PAUL KONCHESKEY's connection with Roy Hodgson and Fulham meant that, even though he did very little this season, just his general presence displeased Liverpool fans | There must be something in the North London water because  MANUEL ALMUNIA isn't far off Gomes-levels of fail with some of the gaffes he had| SEBASTIAN SQUILLACI needed to train to be a better defender; every time his name was on an Arsenal teamsheet, fans fretted
Semi-Finalists: GARY NEVILLE & MICHAEL ESSIEN



I'll do the other five categories when I can be bothered to move my arse. Discuss these amongst yourselves~~~
Tags: awards, bungsten burner, historical post, league: english premier league (epl)
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  • Wednesday

    News An ode to the true star of the 2010 World…

  • Tuesday

    News Ole is setting his sights on United's…

  • Monday

    News Ronaldo x Mo Salah. The last two players to score a hat-trick at Old Trafford against Man United 👑…