Emma (crouchea) wrote in ontd_football,
Emma
crouchea
ontd_football

I’m so damn glad that’s over.

 

Right, so, the premier league season’s over, and needless to say, as the verbose, rambling annoying prick that I am who enjoys using sixty-five words when one will do, season review!! Everyone, fill in these bits about the thing that brings you sunshine and rain, your team:
Season in a nutshell
Favourite game
Least favourite game
Jammiest game
Best player
Favourite goal
Underrated achiever
In need of training
Game that epitomized the season
Positives
Negatives
Wish for the Summer
Five favourite photos/gifs from the season
 

 Mine. If you want 2b bored.


Season in a nutshell
On the first page of our story, the future seemed so bright. Then this thing turned out so shitty, I don’t know why I’m still surprised.

Or, if you’d rather an even more damning indictment of the Chels-
~as lame as my love life~
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printscreen of the one I call "We Need to Train"'s FB wall, the day after Liverpool 2 - Chelsea 0. SIGH.


Favourite game
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The two home matches against the two Manchester teams epitomized all that is good about this team. Against Man City, we gave what was quite possibly our best performance of the season, and played with cohesion and swagger, and thoroughly earned our win. The win against Manchester United was somewhat on the fortuitous side, but the way we didn’t back down at 1-0 and clawed our way back into it & the fact that that was the match that re-ignited our push for the league means means I’ll always remember it with nothing but fondness.

Against the ~less-reknowned~ teams, the six-goal thriller away to Sunderland was one of the most exciting and best games of football I’ve watched all season.
 

Least favourite game
lol, where to begin. First and foremost, all three games against Manchester United that we lost – two in the CL and that recent one in the league. Of the three, the one that hurt my gut more than any other was losing in the second leg of the CL. I went through all the emotions: vague hope, then despair, then further despair, then a little shred of false hope, and finally accepting that it isn't in God's plans for John Terry to ever win a CL. Then there was the sodding 3-0 home loss to Sunderland [I can’t decide whether Cole’s “assist” or Luiz’s “assist” to Hernandez hurt more], the home and away losses to Liverpool and the home draw to Aston Villa – wherein we conceded with virtually the last kick of the game.

Jammiest game
Hahahaha, a tie between United at home (Luiz could have been sent off, not to mention the penalty was ~quite~ soft), or vs Spurs, wherein neither goal should’ve stuck. Oh well! Lampsy isn’t complaining. ;)

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Best player
Without a doubt, Petr Cech, without whom, we’d been languishing in mid-table somewhere. Only Ashley Cole and John Terry come close, but neither have been up to their (admittedly high) standard, so, Cech for me.
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Cech saving Clint Dempsey’s penalty, and proving why he’s the best goalkeeper in the world!


Favourite goal
Probably Drogba’s thunderous volley against Bolton, but Ramires’ individual work in shimmying past all this City defenders is also a good one, as is Kalou’s against Birmingham, because he scored just as his name came up on the advertising hoardings, lol.
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Me and my housemate were going through my tumblr yesterday and I was all "LOOK HOW SALA SCORES DA PRECISE MOMENT HIS NAME COMES UP. I LOVE HIM, HE NEVAR NEEDS TO TRAIN!!!!!~" so much that he was like "that's nice, just get to the Kunis pics." trolololol

Underrated achiever
Salomon Kalou. I don’t know why there are so many piece of shit ~articles~ floating around online saying he’s “not good enough for Chelsea”, boy has 10 goals for us this season, which considering most of his playing time is that as a bit-part player, is not too shabby at all. The pinnacle of his work for Chels this season were his Man of the Match performance – as a sub – against Blackpool, and his last-minute against Spurs. It’s not the first time Kalou’s scored late the break Spurs hearts  and I’m willing to bet it won’t be the last. If we can just hold on to him.

In need of training
Not to jump on the anti-Fernando Torres bandwagon or anything, but I’ve always disliked him, so. I’m glad he did get one goal, because if he hadn’t, it would have made my team even more of a laughing stock. But the fact that the one goal he has scored for us this season was assisted by a puddle, against the team ranked 20th in the league, kinda says it all. 



All that being said, I don’t like to diss any Chelseabung too hard, so what I will say about the lad is that it’s clear that he’s working his arse off, plus, anyone who doesn’t try too hard their contempt for Rio Ferdinand is boss in my books:

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Also, if Roman Abramovich sacks Carlo, which I believe he will, then yes, he, too, needs to train.

Game that epitomized the season
trololololol, Chelsea 3 – Aston Villa 3. Probably a thriller for the neutral, but this was the one Chelsea game I chose to attend this season (I’m kind of poor, boohoo), and it was such a mess that I had to spend a fair bit of money in the Accessorize in Fulham Broadway just to even begin to feel a bit better. The thing that hurt most about this match was that when JT scored really late on to make it 3-2, we were so sure that this was the moment our luck changed – and judging from the way all the players ran over to celebrate with Carlo – they thought that too. But no, it wasn’t to be. So much promise, let down by slack defending.  Story of our frigging season.

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Positives
Our resurgence in the league following the Man Utd win, which helped to deflect attention from the fact that Torres wasn’t scoring, albeit for the best part of sixty seconds. 12/12 points at home to Utd, City, Arsenal and Spurs (the rest of the top five). Finishing highest of all the London teams, and the evening when the NLD was going on, and we quietly leapfrogged Arsenal in the table (Y). The signing of David Luiz, who has Stamford Bridge legend written all over him. Erm… the fact that Frank Lampard is handsome? Idk. It’s been a bit of a shitty season, tbh.

Negatives
Such epic fail in the CL, not least because Torres played -- when I believe Drogba should've. One point from 12 against the rest of the top five away (last season, we won home and away to United, Arsenal and Liverpool). No points from six against Liverpool, and letting them con us for £50 million. Conceding late at home against Aston Villa and Everton to drop precious points, then doing the exact same thing against Newcastle, albeit when second place was cemented. Lampard’s injury. Drogba’s malaria. Essien off-form. Torres’ goal drought. Disappointing run in the Champions League. Ashley Cole & Nicolas Anelka’s penalties in the FA Cup loss to Everton. Carlo’s bizarre – and quite frankly – inexcusable team selections at points. Bosingwa’s early own goal in the match against Wolves. Lee Bowyer’s goal against us in the match against Birmingham. Shrek scoring against us, especially in the CL, at the Bridge (GRRRR.) That bloody game to Sunderland. I could go on.

Wish for the Summer
For Drogba to stay where he is. I would legit cry if he left!!!!!! He's an African King, I am beyond proud of him to have him in my team and I don't want him anywhere else!!

Five favourite photos/gifs from the season
Don’t mind if I do, we might have disappointed, but I love looking at pikchurzzz on the rare occasion that we do succeed.

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Kalou and Malouda with their matching haircuts, and Chelsea's French-speaking attack just being boss, not three-ding to train, etc


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Defenders love in after the City win.


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Because Anelka smiles are rare, so need to be celebrated!

Because I am a lonely, deluded individual who is so irritating that it makes people wish London would diaf just so I'd stfu, I went a bit further. These are just stats relevant to Chelsea, so feel free to scroll!


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I plotted the amount of bookings we picked up next to league position of the teams: Image and video hosting by TinyPic  
It shows, that as you'd suspect, we pick up more bookings against harder teams


We had two penalty misses, one that didn't affect the outcome of the game, and one which meant we dropped two points:-


Matchwinners (in all competitions):


Finally, I plotted points earnt against league position, which indicated that, as expected, we fare better against "easier" sides:

 
 

 Your turn, girlies~~~


Tags: :|, bungsten burner, club: chelsea, club: liverpool fc, club: manchester city, club: manchester united, club: tottenham hotspur, david luiz, didier drogba, fernando torres, frank lampard, gif, graphics, huh huh huh, hurry, john terry, league: english premier league (epl), petr cech
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