Chamakh Talks Swearing, Maths and Ronaldo's Hair.
[Excerpted highlights from Maroaune Chamakh’s interview with Zoo magazine – on sale now, with posh tits as this week’s theme. Interview by James Wallis.]
ZOO: You’ve been in England for a while now, Marouane - learned any rude words yet?
CHAMAKH: Well, I’ve picked up a few from the training ground and on the football pitch, but none that I can say here.
[Whispers] Like, ‘fuck off’…
ZOO: Have your teammates given you a nickname?
CHAMAKH: Not yet, but for some reason I used to be called ‘The Camel’ at my old club!I honestly don’t know why!
ZOO: Arsene Wenger looks so serious all the time. Does he ever lighten up and have a laugh?
CHAMAKH: When I came here that was the impression I got, too. But, gradually as you get to know him you do see him smile.
ZOO: But does he ever laugh?
CHAMAKH: Well, I think so once! No, after every win he smiles a lot.
ZOO: You were dead set on a move to the Arsenal. Has it lived up to all of your expectations?
CHAMAKH: Yes. Everything I thought about the club, fans and players is what I hoped. I’m really happy to be here.
ZOO: So come on, will Arsenal win the Premier League title this year?
CHAMAKH: I hope so!
CHAMAKH: Yes - I’m not overconfident, but I am confident. I think we have just as much chance of winning the Premier League as we do the Champions League. We’ve got a great bunch of players here, so I am confident we can do well in both competitions.
ZOO: We’ve heard you’re something of a master mathematician. What’s that about?
CHAMAKH: I’ve always really liked maths. I don’t go home and spend my time doing algebra or anything though - I’m not a nerd! I like to play poker, so being good at maths comes in handy.
ZOO: You’re also a dead ringer for Cristiano Ronaldo…
CHAMAKH: Ah, I’ve heard that before! I think it is the hair that makes us look similar.
ZOO: Who copied who with the haircut?
CHAMAKH: It was him that copied me, honest! I’ve had it like this for years, so Ronaldo must have taken the style from me.
Interlull: Reduce the reducers.
I'm not gonna post the whole thing, just some bits I thought needed to be shared. To read the whole article check the source. This is from an Arsenal blog, but it applies to the entire Premier League. if this isn't allowed, tell me and I'll delete it.
It is curious though that very few people had anything to say when Ramsey's leg was broken just under 8 months ago. Or when Eduardo's leg was broken. It was easier to trot out of the NTKOP clichés and ignore the problem. Yet a crude challenge from Nigel de Jong, a foreigner with a bit of reputation, has brought the issue to the fore.
I know Karl Henry has been pilloried for his latest piece of deliberately mistimed thuggery but just a few weeks ago Match of the Day sat giggling at Henry's maintained assault on Joey Barton in the Wolves v Newcastle game. Now that the public mood has changed they were po-faced and tutting of his tackle on Gomez at the weekend.
Let's face it - there's absolutely no deterrent to players who deliberately go out and 'tackle' in the way that the likes of de Jong and Henry do. A three game ban is a rest. They might prefer to play, I'm sure they do, but it's little more than an inconvenience. Hatem Ben Arfa's broken leg is far more than that. As was Aaron Ramsey's, Eduardo's, Diaby's and so on.
Samir Nasri has called for refs to provide more protection to players, saying:
What strikes me is the refereeing. The referee saw Hatem exit on a stretcher with an oxygen mask, yet he didn't punish De Jong. It's that which has to change in England.
I would entirely agreeing the standard of refereeing is poor and Martin Atkinson is right up there with the worst of them. However, there have been two incidents this season which demonstrated that perhaps there is a willingness on the part of the officials to combat reckless tackling. Joe Cole got a red card at Anfield for his wild, jumping lunge at Laurent Koscielny while Gary Cahill was sent off for jumping in two-footed on Marouane Chamakh.
At the time Bolton complained, pundits moaned that it was just a yellow card, but he jumped in, with two feet of the ground, into the back of a player. That is a red card. That young referee on the day was appalling but he got that decision absolutely spot on. Maybe de Jong's sly reducer on Ben Arfa wasn't quite as noticeable in real time but then we have a multitude of cameras at every game. They should be used.
I've pointed to the rule in rugby whereby a player can be cited by the opposition for dangerous/violent/foul play and the incident is then assessed by a video panel. There's no reason in the world why that shouldn't be introduced in football, other than a complete unwillingness on behalf of the authorities to open up what they consider a can of worms. When you look at how little they do you can only make the assumption that they believe it's better for a few players a season to be seriously hurt than to deal with what is a genuine problem.
It amazes me that people will find every excuse under the sun for a player who is violent and dangerous yet practically call for the crucifixion of one who takes a dive or who spits. I remember in the wake of the Phil Brown gozzygate incident Mark Bright, a former player and BBC pundit, said:
If you're going to elbow somebody, tackle somebody, show your studs, these are all part of the game. I'd rather be elbowed than spat on
Honestly, have you ever heard such nonsense? This is from a man who is paid by the BBC for his expert opinion on football. It's this attitude, which is so embedded in the English game, which makes change so difficult. When that's the mindset you're dealing with, and Bright is hardly alone in this regard, it's no wonder it's almost impossible to get anything done.
Now, however, there's a nasty foreigner who is the perpetrator of the bad tackle, not a young Englishman who didn't know any better, and there's more focus on it. If that's what it takes then so be it. Let's hope it's actually the start of something though and not just the latest fashion in column writing. I'm not holding my breath.
Sauce: the always wonderful Arseblog.
and so this post isn't entirely devoid of fapping, have some Robert: