(If only he'd been this whatevs at immigration, he'd be a free man today.)
Former World Cup referee Byron Moreno has been arrested in New York and charged with smuggling heroin.
The Ecuadorean, best known for his officiating of Italy's controversial defeat to South Korea at the 2002 World Cup, was apprehended at John F. Kennedy Airport.
Federal prosecutors said he was found with bags of heroin strapped to his body after he arrived on a commercial flight from Ecuador.
The 43-year-old "became visibly nervous" during a routine inspection, a federal court in Brooklyn heard.
A customs agent felt "hard objects on the defendant's stomach, back and both of his legs," the complaint said.
A strip search revealed that the lumps were 10 clear plastic bags containing more than 10 pounds of heroin, it said.
Moreno was jailed without bail, and there was no response from his lawyer on Tuesday.
He attracted widespread criticism for his refereeing of the South Korea versus Italy game, in which he sent off Francesco Totti and disallowed a valid Italian goal, with Korea eventually winning 2-1 in extra time.
The arrest has been a great boon to the Italian media, who are going to town with new quotes from Azzurri veterans who played in that match.
Six kilos of drugs? I believe Moreno had this already in 2002, but not in his underwear, in his body.
The fabulously bitchy (and also flat-out fabulous) Christian Panucci:
He was a disaster then and he has proved it now.
He was put in place to eliminate Italy. He is a bandit, he is not a serious person. Someone found to be in possession of drugs means he was not professional.
Look at the images, he was too fat to referee. The game ended for us after an hour back then. We felt we might as well had gone home there and then.