Hmm... So, if I break into each of their homes and reveal a yellow shirt under my clothes, the police won't be called? That's really the only lesson I got from this.
See you on Christmas Eve, boys!
Other award winners included Al-Ahly and Egypt midfielder Ahmed Hassan (Africa-based Player) and Ghana midfielder Kwadwo Asamoah (Most Promising Talent) while Ghana were predictably named best national team after reaching the World Cup quarter-finals
Milovan Rajevac, the humble Serbian coach who made 2010 such a memorable year for Ghana, took the Coach of the Year award. He resigned after the World Cup to join Saudi Arabian club Al-Ittihad Jeddah.
• Balotelli claims not to have heard of second-placed Wilshere
• City striker then says he is better than Fábregas and Rooney
The Manchester City striker won the Golden Boy trophy, organised by the Turin newspaper Tuttosport and voted for by European journalists to honour the most talented footballer under the age of 21. The 20-year-old beat the 18-year-old Wilshere into second place – and then claimed he did not even know who the Arsenal midfielder was.
"What's his name? Wil ... ? No, I don't know him, but the next time I play against Arsenal I will keep a close eye on him," Balotelli said. "Perhaps I can show him the Golden Boy trophy and remind him that I won it."
The Italy international then had a dig at previous winners of the award, including Fábregas, Rooney and Rafael van der Vaart, insisting only one past recipient could claim to be better than him. "There's only one that is a little stronger than me: Messi. All the others are behind me.
"I am delighted to receive the award, but who should have won it but me? Two years ago I finished sixth and then fourth in 2009. It was finally my turn. My aim is that this prize will transform itself into the Ballon d'Or. To have won this award is a good omen to achieve that."
Aside from personal prizes, Balotelli also seems confident of helping his team win the Premier League title this season. "For 2011 I want the Premier League, in order to continue with the tradition I had at Inter of winning three consecutive titles, and to clinch the Europa League, a trophy I have not yet won and a competition where we are considered favourites."
"While I enjoyed my time at Everton last season and still appreciate all the support their fans have given me, I feel that it is important to continue to rest and recover this offseason as opposed to going on loan. I never considered being loaned to a club other than Everton, but I have been playing nearly non-stop for the past two years and I believe that this decision will allow me to perform at my best for the Galaxy and the national team throughout the upcoming year."