an inspiring interpretation of
a Daily Mail "news" article.
According to a legitimate news source the Daily Mail, the empire of Chelski is crumbling away. But the reasons are unforeseen, or very much foreseen. It's not because we have been dashed as a retirement home for aging midfielders (although Ballack's still here, what gives), or the fact that we haven't won the Premier League in three long years. Mainly it's because we cannot woo new players here. Basically this translates to:
ROMAN ABRAMOVICH NOW HAS STOMACH ULCERS
Now with added vodka, but technically he couldn't put that on the label. In any case, Roman is quoted as saying, "The owners of Manchester City may have more money than I, but I am Ruskie and I have waited in line for toilet paper." Here is Pepto Bismolski at work:
Certainly a reliable product.
This has been your reminder to watch the Community Shield today for more faces such as these.