August 9th, 2009

EMPIRE CRUMBLING CAUSING STOMACH ACHES?

Roman's empire is crumbling -
an inspiring interpretation of
a Daily Mail "news" article.

According to a legitimate news source the Daily Mail, the empire of Chelski is crumbling away. But the reasons are unforeseen, or very much foreseen. It's not because we have been dashed as a retirement home for aging midfielders (although Ballack's still here, what gives), or the fact that we haven't won the Premier League in three long years. Mainly it's because we cannot woo new players here. Basically this translates to:

ROMAN ABRAMOVICH NOW HAS STOMACH ULCERS
BECAUSE NO ONE WANTS TO RIDE HIS YACHT.

Because what good is a yacht with a helipad if none of your friends want to visit it? Instead of investing in Chelski, Roman has invested in new stock in the form of:



Now with added vodka, but technically he couldn't put that on the label. In any case, Roman is quoted as saying, "The owners of Manchester City may have more money than I, but I am Ruskie and I have waited in line for toilet paper." Here is Pepto Bismolski at work:



Certainly a reliable product.


This has been your reminder to watch the Community Shield today for more faces such as these.
vamos la furia roja

Atletico and Liverpool players involved in forced landing in Barajas - UPDATED 10-AUG-09

Marca1 is reporting that the flight out of Liverpool in calm weather was forced to give up on reaching Madrid and land in Barajas due to "changing winds". On board were Atletico Madrid's travelling players, as well as Liverpool players Pepe Reina, Albert Riera, Javier Mascherano, and Emiliano Insua, all travelling to meet up with their international squads. eta: The Liverpool Echo3 is reporting that Fernando Torres was deemed fit and was on the plane with his teammates. The Echo story does not mention Insua.

Fernando Torres did not travel, due to a minor ankle injury picked up during yesterday's match was there according to the Liverpool Echo. He'll be monitored through the week though Liverpool manager Rafael Benitez expects him to be recovered in time for next week's Premier League opener against Spurs, according to the AP2. (So I'm guessing we will see Llorente on Wednesday now, y/n?)

Anyway, just glad everyone is safely back on the ground. Seems to have been no serious injuries though it does say Cleber got the worst of it, dunno if that means terrified or airsick or what, though.

Sources: 1, 2, 3
  • n720

Mario and Caucau upfront for Germany?


Podolski out due to thigh injury


 
Germany striker Lukas Podolski has been ruled out of Wednesday's 2010 World Cup qualifier against Azerbaijan after picking up a minor injury in training this week, the German soccer federation (DFB) said on Sunday. Podolski had also missed Cologne's season opener, a 1-0 defeat by Borussia Dortmund on Saturday, after feeling some pain in his leg muscle during training throughout the week.

"It would have been too risky to play him in Baku because he could then be out for much longer," Germany coach Joachim Loew said on the federation's website (www.dfb.de).

Podolski, who has 33 goals in 64 internationals, may not be replaced in the squad for Wednesday's game in Baku as coach Joachim Loew already has attacking options in the shape of Mario Gomez, Cacau and Miroslav Klose. However, Klose may be a doubt after picking up a shin injury which kept him out of Bayern Munich's opening German League match against Hoffenheim on Saturday.

Source 1, 2


Schweini learning the news.

Chelsea Lift Community Shield

Come on Blues!!! First bit of silverware of the season!!!




Chelsea have finally broken the penalty curse! We ran out 4-1 winners in the shoot out after potato-headed Wayne Rooney levelled things up to make it 2-2 in injury time. We didn’t get off to the best start when Nani was allowed to cut inside and score within 10 minutes, Cech seemingly out of position. He made amends with two fantastic saves later in the half from Park and Berbatov, the latter a reaction one armed stop proving he is still well and truly world class. United had the best of the opening period and Chelsea did well to stop them scoring more than one. JT and Ricardo Carvalho both produced some superb interceptions, official Man of the Match Riccy showing he’s more than a match for Alex when it comes to first choice partners for the England skipper.
 

The Blues had chances in an eventful first 45 minutes but failed to convert. Ivanovic could have put us ahead at the start when he met a Lampard corner only to see his bumbled shot headed up and off the crossbar from on the line by the ever-unpopular Patrice Evra. Drogba could only produce a weak left footed shot after being put in by Malouda. Essien, despite playing some slick through balls didn’t quite look himself as he sort to establish himself within Carlo’s well publicised diamond formation. Lampard seemed subdued and struggled to get on the ball but as the first half progressed we started to get a hold on the game. Ben Foster, who looked nervous all game appeared to go to sleep just after the half hour mark when he twice almost gifted the ball to Drogba in the United box. Nicolas Anelka had two great chances right at the end of the half, the first a blistering shot from outside the box and the second a left foot shot on the turn that was always going the wrong side of the post.
 

The second half saw Jose Bosingwa replace Ivanovic and we started positively. In the 52nd minute Carvalho got forward and, after Drogba had caused some trademark carnage in the box with Foster again flapping, dived in to head us level. Chelsea from then on controlled the game and in the 72nd minute much to Red Nose’s disgust we played on when Ballack appeared to deliberately body check a forward run by Patrice Evra. Chelsea broke, the ball was squared and, as he has been so many times for us in the past, Frank Lampard was on the spot to put the ball past the hapless Foster from the edge of the box. Jug-eared madman Rooney was less than impressed with referee Chris Foy’s failure to stop the game despite the fact that players always play the whistle. In injury time however we nodded off and let him get on the end of a through ball which it has to be said he put away with a very cool finish. A Braveheartesque celebration followed and it looked like the momentum had shifted the wrong way just at the wrong time.
 

So penalties it was and a chance to put a few of the Moscow ghosts to bed. I had visions of JT stepping up to win it for us but thankfully he remained on the half way line! I can’t think of two better candidates to step up for the first two penalties than Lamps and Ballack. Lamps is ice cool and German’s never miss. Frank got put us 1-0 up blasting straight down the middle and then after a word in Cech’s ear, the big keeper stopped Giggs’s spot kick with his feet as he too attempted attempted to go straight down the middle. Ballack 2-0, unsaveable. Next. Carrick then the only decent penalty from United but even then Cech wasn’t too far away. I’ve been very critical of Petr’s penalty saving in the past. He never seems to dive full stretch like top spot kick stopper Reina and all too often collapses in a heap on the floor as the ball whistles past him into the net. This time was different and he seemed alert and nimble on the line. Didier answered the United boos by putting us 3-1 up, Foster again nowhere near. Then up stepped Evra, every grounds man in the country no doubt willing him to miss, and he produced one of the worst penalties I’ve ever seen. A tame side foot pass to the keeper that hardly made it to the goal line, Cech gathering it in both hands! After a moment of confusion where Deco stepped up to take the winning penalty, only to be sent back to the halfway line because he’d come up out of turn, Kalou smacked one in the top corner and the Community Shield was on it’s way back to Stamford Bridge. Great start Carlo!!

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