June 19th, 2009

Van der BB

Marianne Fellatio 101

We all know Everton's new kid on the block as the guy with the skills, the fro and occasionally by the ridic nickname of "Marianne Fellatio". He has also been in a recent Merseyside scandal, and no this doesn't involve his hair clogging the drains in the Goodison Park locker room!

Some traits we didn't know:

He has divine taste in women
His preferences in women are sooo exquisite that his recent hook-up involves WAYNE ROONEY'S COUSIN Natalie. He is even courteous when making a first impression, insisting on seeing Natalie's bum by dropping his pantaloons on their first date. "He kept saying, 'Don't be shy - I will show you mine,"

He picks up languages fast
One of the early texts to Natalie:

"Com please me only my family no hier Please for me babe."

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Hmmm family ties. Rooney has been linked with a 52 year old woman, while his cousin hooked up with a guy named Marianne. Cases are similar, no?

From source de journalistic integrity: News of the World


I Can Feel it Coming in the Air Tonight


We are a little early today because I have to go to work and we want everyone from across the pond to be able to participate. Remember the rules, so vote for who you think would actually win in a fight not just who you are more partial to because this is srs bzns.

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Nina Dobrev
  • arooj

Chelsea agree £17.5 million for Johnson.

RAFA BENITEZ'S pursuit of England full-back Glen Johnson has
stalled - after Portsmouth accepted a rival £17.5million bid from



Glen Johnson 

 According to a report in the British tabloid The Sun, Chelsea have agreed a fee with Portsmouth for the potential transfer of Glen Johnson.

It was reported on Tuesday that Liverpool were leading the race for the 24-year-old, having had a bid of up to £19 million accepted by Pompey.

Initially, it was thought that hefty price had ruled the likes of Chelsea and Manchester City out of the running for the 6ft 1in defender, however, it is now claimed that the Blues have had agreed a fee of £17.5m.

Johnson has already played for the west London club, moving to Stamford Bridge from West Ham United for £6m in 2003.

The 15-time capped England international is said to have told close friends that he favours a move to Anfield because he did not enjoy the best of spells at Chelsea first-time round.

Much has changed since he left the Blues and it is thought they will tempt him back to the club by offering him a big-money wage package.

Either way, Portsmouth executive chairman Peter Storrie expects the player to complete a switch in the coming week.

"The matter will come to a conclusion at the beginning of next week. I do not have a preference over the move, it is up to Glen," Storrie is quoted as saying.

"The deals are almost identical so it really is down to him and what club he prefers, which one is going to pay him more money.

"Glen wants to play regularly in the Champions League - he has got himself back in the England side so I understand that. Sometimes you have to be fair to players.

"It's a big year for him with the World Cup coming up. Playing Champions League football will make him an even better player than he is today."

[♥]roaming gnome

Can transfer season be over yet?

Here's your daily Spanish press transfer shit storm and trust me, today it's GOOD...

Apparently, Valencia has now decided they don't want to sell David Villa after putting him on the market last month. Villa's agent is not amused. This makes me think that Señor Bitchface's decision wasn't really to stay at Mestalla.
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In other, even more lol-worthy news, Manchester United is apparently set to put in a bid for Iker Casillas. I'm the farthest thing from a madridista but the thought makes my stomach churn.
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I love how one of the commenters on the Marca site says that for him to move to Manchester, they'd have to find a way to move Móstoles along with him :')

In other Madrid news, As is reporting that you can now buy the new RM shirts but that the only Names/Numbers availables are those of Casillas, Raúl and Sergio Ramos. Make of that what you will.

John Terry is voted Daddy of the Year.

John Terry collects Dad of the Year award.

Terry, 28, the father of three year old twins, Georgie John and Summer Rose, came top of a poll of UK adults, beating last year's winner Peter Andre into second place.

The Chelsea captain was delighted to win the Daddies Sauce survey.

He said: "It's a great honour to be voted Dad of the Year. I have won many trophies in my career but I'm proud to say that this is up there with all of them.

"Georgie and Summer are great kids and I love them both dearly.

"My family mean the world to me and receiving this award has made me feel extremely proud.

"Being with the kids and watching them grow up and learning new things every day is a privilege and I'm honoured to receive this award." [source]

footballers with babbies spam y/y?

awooo waka waka espagna


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ETA: Now available in an English source

United to make Real an offer they can't refuse for Casillas

Manchester United are ready to give back some of the £80 million they will revceive (RECEIVE lol dailyfail) from Real Madrid for Cristiano Ronaldo for Spain goalkeeeper Iker Casillas.

Edwin van der Sar is 39 in October and Sir Alex Ferguson knows he must find a younger alternative for the Dutchman.

Apart from possibly Italy's Gigi Buffon, Casillas is rated the world's top goalkeeper by many observers though he has become a symbol of Real along with veteran forward Raul.

That would not deter Ferguson and despite a new era beginning at the Bernabeu with the arrival of Ronaldo and Kaka, the United manager hopes Casillas might be tempted by the challenge of playing for another one of European football's leading clubs.

New Real president Florentino Perez would be reluctant to lose Casillas but the goalkeeper could feel that he will become a bit part player among the new galacticos.



superstar where u frum how's it going??



excerpt from a Sport article, kill me if i translated something wrong

  • His childhood idol was Patrick Kluivert

  • He has an impressive shirt collection with hundreds of names divided between Barcelona and Linyola

  • There is a phoenix bird tatooed on his back

  • He is a math genius and barely needs to study to pass. His talent for numbers is similar to his skills in front of goal. He also is good at music.

  • His best friend in the locker room is PIQUE but he also maintains a very special relationship with Henry, who has helped him a lot from the first minute.

  • He likes to "recharge his batteries" by passing time in his hometown Linyola. There he enjoys spending time with his life-long friends.

  • He just graduated from highschool and this coming September he is studying for his entrance exam at the sports university INEFC (Instituto Nacional de Educación Física de Cataluña)

  • I'm switching schools

Timmy is so done with this.

"This hasn't been a great two games for us," said Howard. "If we can take this into the Gold Cup and World Cup qualifying and apply some of the lessons we learned here and not be so naïve in certain instances, in a way it could be successful. But that's only if we apply it, not if we talk about it."

U.S. Players Speak After 3-0 Brazil Loss

PRETORIA, South Africa -- U.S. goalkeeper Tim Howard looked and sounded shell-shocked after Brazil's 3-0 demolition of the U.S. here Thursday at the Confederations Cup. He had reason to be. The U.S. was never in the game, giving up a sixth-minute strike to Felipe Melo (on a headed free kick) and a 20th-minute counterattack goal to Robinho after a grade-school give-away by DaMarcus Beasley on a U.S. corner kick.

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Feel free to post more pics, especially if they're of ~NILMAR~
Feliz Navidad

We also don't believe in lj-cuts

Real Madrid Spending Good For The League - Gerard Pique

Real Madrid's outlay on two players this summer has gone down well with one Barcelona player...

Gerard Pique believes that Real Madrid's enormous spending spree can only be good for la Primera Division as they have added two of the world's best players to their ranks.

The Barcelona defender admitted that he is a huge fan of Cristiano Ronaldo after the pair's time together at Manchester United, and he welcomed Kaka to Spanish football too.

While many have condemned the €161 million outlay on just two players, Pique thinks that it can only have a beneficial effect as it will raise the league's profile even higher.

"For me it's going to be very good for the league, it's going to enrich it. Whoever wins the league will have more prestige," Marca quote him as saying.

Barcelona fans may not be enamoured by Ronaldo's ability, but Pique is well aware of what he will give Real Madrid.

"He has everything; he's good up front, is powerful, strong, fast, works hard, takes free-kicks in an incredible way, he has it all," he continued.

"There's a reason why he's been the best player in the world, but one player does not make a team and we will see how Madrid work."

Spicy quotes with
zz interview

Big in China

Oliver Kahn drinks a beer on Germany's return from the 2002 World Cup

Oliver Kahn doing a reality show in China.

Oiver Kahn is hosting his own reality show in China, "I Never Give Up," which is due to be aired for the first time on Thursday, June 18.
The Chinese producers of the show are hoping that the three-time winner of the World's Best Goalkeeper Award and the Best Player at the 2002 World Cup will bring his star quality to the soccer talent show which hopes to find China's best goalkeeper and make that person's dream of being a professional soccer player a reality.

The contestants, aged 17-24, including two women, will compete for the prize of a spot in the German Football Association's elite training academy.

The now retired - but maybe not entirely reformed - Kahn seems a more mellow character since he hung up his gloves at the end of the 2008 season. Given the opportunity to launch into one of his famous withering tirades, Kahn refused to name names when he explained that his show would not be following the blueprints of previous reality programs.

"We don't want to do an empty and meaningless, mindless casting show," he said, without mentioning Heidi Klum, who hosts Germany's Next Top Model. "And I don't want to be the one who 'talks big' and disses or offends the young candidates when they don't succeed.

Instead, Kahn says, the 10-part series will focus on how the contests reflect "the importance of individuality and personality but most of all, how the contestants handle defeat."

The 10-episode reality series also has something for the viewers. Kahn hopes to show the Chinese people a "road map to success." Not a man known for his lack of self-confidence, Kahn also wants to show how others can use his own principles and apply them to their daily lives in China.


Breaking News

Yup, Wayne Rooney is a gay icon


Former Leeds United and Arsenal player Lee Chapman, now a bar owner and husband of actress Leslie Ash, retired from the beautiful game back in 1996, but even as recently as that, he reckons, players would never have been able to get away with such an amplified level of vanity as they do today.

"George Michael once called me the campest footballer in Britain," says Chapman, rather proudly. "But to be honest the most outrageous thing I ever did was to get some blonde streaks put in my hair. And I remember getting some terrible stick off the other players even for that."

Chapman believes that as footballers' wages have gone into the stratosphere, they have started behaving more and more like pop stars. "The focus is on them all the time now, on and off the field," he says. "They get photographed constantly and, just like pop stars, they get very image-conscious and competitive and feel obliged to reinvent themselves by changing their looks - their hair and clothes - all the time, too."

What is most surprising is, despite what you might think, that this kind of recklessly flamboyant doesn't really cut it with the bona fide gay community. "That over groomed, hairless vanity is really not where it is at these days," says Richard Bence, lifestyle editor of gay magazine Attitude. "I don't know a single gay man who fancies David Beckham, for instance. The trend now is more for unreconstructed, elemental types.

"As far as football is concerned," says Bence, dropping something of a libidinous bombshell, "the ultimate gay pin-up of the moment is... Wayne Rooney. He is sooo very, very sexy."

Sexy. Wayne Rooney. You read it here first.

But here's the thing. Is it any coincidence that Manchester United manager Alex Ferguson finally decided to get shot of Cristiano Ronaldo only a few days after those photographs of him camping it up on holiday in Las Vegas - giving sin city a taste of Le Cage Aux Folles in tight white shorts à la Bjorn Borg circa 1979, a fitted, baby blue polo shirt, big avaitor sunglasses that were apparently stolen from Cheryl Cole's bedroom, a pink baseball cap worn back to front and picked out with his initials on the strap adjuster (get him and his details) and a pretty flower in his ear - appeared in the papers? I don't think so.

If you ask me, it is far from unlikely that Ferguson thought it the right time to unload showpony Ronaldo when his off-pitch behaviour started to resemble Sasha Baron Cohen's Brüno, front and centre at an Erasure concert.

Such a shame, isn't it, you think as you study his various, fruity get-ups, that Ronaldo chose Madrid, a team whose home ground is the famous Bernabeu. If he'd have gone to FC Barcelona he would have been playing at the Nou Camp instead.

Source: GQ Mag via The Spoiler
darcy doesn;t sparkle

ooerr missus

Conclusions from Spain training

Spain held a training session ahead of their clash with South Africa and Andrew Hallett reflects on what he saw.


3: Iker Casillas is a firm captain

The Spanish skipper looks to have no time for nonsense. Just before the formal training commenced, some of the players were having a kick about. Cesc Fabregas went a little over the top with a challenge and Casillas was not best pleased. The Real Madrid ace showed he is a leader among men and pulled Fabregas to one side and had a stern word with the Arsenal star.

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I got an email from World Soccer Shop and they have some pretty good Clearance stuff for some teams I know y'all like (RM, Chelsea, a couple Euro NTs, varied EPL teams, couple random Euro leagues, Mexico etc) as well as some women's jerseys on there (they fit a lot nicer than men's kits if you have boobs or a wider waist).

ALSO FATHER'S DAY IS SOON I thought this was cute:

MLS stars follow in their fathers' footsteps

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Who's your favorite father/son player pair? Mine's these two Icelanders.