Barcelona had luck (and an incompetent referee) on their side for their midweek Champions League match against Chelsea, but when they attempted to seal their La Liga title against Villarreal on Sunday, things suddenly went sour. Abidal was again sent off, their 3-2 lead disappeared with an injury time goal from Joseba Llorente, and Iniesta suffered a thigh injury that could keep him out for the rest of the season. So what would have happened if this match had continued?
97′ — Messi finally realizes that he shouldn’t have cut his own hair.
102′ — Villarreal’s Italian-American-Italian striker Giuseppe Rossi tells Eto’o to “fuhgedaboutit”. When Eto’o asks what he’s supposed to forget about, Rossi begins to weep and says he doesn’t know who he is anymore.
110′ — Still playing with an injured thigh, Iniesta decides that the pain is too much and tries to transform into a bat. He quickly realizes that merely looking like a vampire and reading the first two chapters of Twilight does not make you an actual vampire.
112′ — Alves continues to play the victim as he attempts to cripple everyone on the pitch.
115′ — Frustrated by his lack of playing time, Hleb runs out onto the pitch, stops, gets nervous by the unfamiliar surroundings, and hurries back to the bench. He hopes no one noticed, but they did. They did.
119′ — Joseba Llorente scores a third goal simply off the power and unadulterated awesomeness of his first name. Ariel Ibagaza, meanwhile, quietly weeps as yet another person shouts a Little Mermaid joke at him.
123′ — 18-year-old Bojan asks Guardiola how he can grow 5 o’ clock shadow on the entirety of his head.
131′ — Real Madrid somehow retroactively win their match against Valencia from the day before by a score of 37-3 to neutralize Barca’s lead in goal differential and stay alive in the league title race.
136′ — Didier Drogba appears out of nowhere, wearing flip-flops and shouting something to the effect of “ducking his face”. Michael Ballack dances with the referee.
Also, please note that Pep has shaved, and I'm unsure how I feel about this.